


sweet like honey

by rikubraveheart



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira Roasts Himself: The Fic, Akira is a disaster, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Pining, Plot? There's no plot. Only pining., too much honey is bad for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:39:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24444463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikubraveheart/pseuds/rikubraveheart
Summary: He knows he should stop. That he’s crossing a line that shouldn’t be crossed, going down a path that only leads to a broken heart. But a small part of him is telling him to be selfish for once, to do something for himself, others be damned.So he doesn’t stop. Akechi doesn’t stop. And so they enter a different kind of dance. A dance that is so much like their previous will-they-won’t-they but so much more charged with tension and desire.Or, five times Akira called Akechi honey and one time Akechi called him something else.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 79
Kudos: 584





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Baby's first Persona 5 fic! I've only been into persona since the beginning of April, so I apologize if my characterization is a little bit off (but seriously, does Akira even have a set personality? and why are Akechi and this ship so hard to write?). This was honestly just a word-vomit I started at 1am because I'm so in love with this ship they've brought back my writing inspiration.
> 
> Also, this was originally going to be published as one big 10k chapter but since it's so character study-heavy I decided to split it into chapters for an easier reading experience.
> 
> As always, English is not my first language so I apologize if there are any mistakes! Although it's been months since I last published something and I really think I've improved (◕‿◕)
> 
> Twitter: [@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart)

The first time he does it, it’s unintentional.

Or at least, that’s the lie he tells himself. He doesn’t want to think about the feelings that are slowly taking root deep inside his heart, not when he knows it could never be. Not when the person making him feel that way is the detective investigating them, whose every single interaction with him probably hides an ulterior motive.

He’s thinking about that when he enters Leblanc in the evening after a long day of school only to find one Goro Akechi sitting at the café. The words are out of his mouth before he can think twice about saying them.

“Honey, I’m home,” he blurts out.

The words  _ what the fuck _ start repeating in his mind like a mantra. They’ve teased each other before, playful banter that doesn’t quite go beyond the flirting threshold, but nothing that crossed the line of their careful  _ will-they-won’t-they _ dance.

What Akira just said goes right beyond that line, and he’s uncertain of what Akechi’s reaction is going to be.

(He also doesn’t want to think about how Boss is  _ right there _ because he doubts there are a lot of interpretations to what he just said. Oh God, he hopes he won’t try to talk to him about it like every time he brings one of his female friends to Leblanc.)

“You’re back awfully late,” says Akechi, and Akira would be lying if he said that his response doesn’t lift a weight from his heart. His smile as he says this is as unnerving as ever, something hidden deep behind his Detective Prince façade, but it also looks a lot more genuine than most smiles Akechi gives other people. Akira wonders if he’s ever opened up for real to someone, or if he even realizes that he can see right through his lies.

But Akechi seems completely oblivious to Akira’s internal monologue because he immediately turns his head to look at Boss and makes an (unsuccessful) attempt of starting some small talk with him.

He’s about to interject in the conversation to try and save Akechi from Sojiro’s dry conversation skills, but before he can do it the bald politician appears on the TV and his head begins to throb painfully as if someone had hit him with a baseball bat.

He barely registers Boss talking to him, and then Akechi starts talking about how he believes the Phantom Thieves aren’t the real culprits of the Okumura case and Akira forgets about everything else

“You on the Thieves’ side?” he asks him, expectation blossoming in his chest.

“It may be somewhat of a stretch to say I’m ‘on their side’. Having said that, I won’t deny that I empathize with them on some level,” he answers, and Akira blinks at the incredulity of the situation.

Even so, they talk, and there’s teasing like always but the serious tone never really leaves their conversation the same way Akechi’s words stay in his head.

Hours later he lays on his bed thinking about their little exchange. His mind goes back to Akechi defending the Phantom Thieves because  _ what the hell could that mean. _ And the thing is, he can’t puzzle out if he was being genuine. Akira wants to feel relieved that Akechi doesn’t believe them to be murderers (even if he’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out their identities yet), but he can't shake the thought that there was something eerie to their conversation. 

Akira is ashamed to admit that, instead of trying to riddle out Akechi’s intentions like he probably should, his brain is stuck on one single sentence.

_ I knew there was something special about you _ , Akechi had told him.

His heart shouldn’t flutter as it did at hearing those words, but it did anyway and his guilt is overturning any inkling of happiness they provoked. What would their teammates say, if they knew that instead of trying to get information from Akechi, he’s too occupied flirting and crushing on him?

He wonders if Morgana has noticed, but if he has he hasn’t commented on it.

Surprisingly, Akechi is at Shujin during the first day of their Cultural Festival. Akira would laugh thinking about Akechi’s face after eating the special takoyaki for  _ weeks _ .

The way he had addressed them,  _ the whole gang's here _ , had made him nervous.  _ Too _ nervous. If they aren’t reading too much into the situation and Akechi does know their identities, then the Phantom Thieves could meet an untimely end soon enough.

But if he knew already, why bother showing them support the day before?

He bids farewell to the other Phantom Thieves, Futaba opting to head home on her own with Morgana. Something about  _ too much human interaction for the day _ , she had said.

He still has time left before having to go home, so he checks in to see which one of his non-Shujin friends is free. He opens his chat app and the first thing he sees is an unread message from Akechi informing him that he was at Shujin hours ago.

Akira should really learn to check his phone more than three times a day. Maybe if he did they wouldn’t have gotten ambushed by Akechi.

An idea strikes him, and he opens Akechi’s chatlog before he can think twice about it.

He asks Akechi if he wants to hang out today and gets an immediate reply. Akechi accepts and tells him that he’ll wait for him at the school gates. He then realizes he doesn’t really have a plan as to where to go. He uses the short walk towards the school gates to think of a plan.

Akechi and he usually spend their time at the Darts & Billiards place or at the Jazz Club, so unless they go there again, Akira is out of ideas. He guesses Akechi won’t be against visiting their usual places, but he still wants to do something different today.

That’s when he remembers going to the Aquarium with him in July. Maybe they could do something like that again. The Planetarium could do it. Last time he had gone there with Yusuke and Mishima, but thinking about going  _ with Akechi _ makes him nervous in a way he understands too well.

He finally gets to his destination and sees Akechi waiting for him, scrolling through his phone. He’s not the only one who’s noticed, he realizes, as some of the students are eyeing him, probably debating whether or not they should approach him to ask him about the Phantom Thieves.

Instead, it’s Akira who approaches him first before any of them can make up their minds. 

Akechi looks up at him and gives him one of his smiles, one of the genuine ones, and suddenly Akira is hyper-aware of the people around staring at Akechi. He gets the urge to take him away, to keep that smile to himself, so that’s what he does.

He grabs Akechi by the arm and starts pulling both of them towards the station.

When he asks him where they’re going, most likely noticing that they aren’t boarding the train that would take them to Kichijoji, Akira simply smirks at him.

“It’s a surprise,” he says and, with courage he didn’t know he had, winks at him.

“I didn’t peg you for a stargazer,” says Akechi once they arrive at the Planetarium.

“I’m not, usually,” he says. “But I thought you may like it. You’ve never really been outside of the city, have you?”

Akechi shakes his head.

“Maybe when I was a kid, but I barely remember it now,” he answers.

“Well, back in my hometown you could usually see the stars at night,” he explains. “It’s a pretty rural zone. I thought it’d be cool for you to experience that even if it’s only artificial.”

“That’s… thoughtful of you,” says Akechi, and his expression is almost unreadable, a mix of surprise and delightment. “Are you perhaps knowledgeable on constellations?”

“Fuck no,” he laughs. “But that’s what the voiceover at the Planetarium is.”

Akechi chuckles, and that’s when the show starts.

Akira would like to say he paid attention to the show, but instead, he spent the whole time with his head turned towards Akechi, watching his reactions to everything. It’s cute, watching him while he’s unaware. His reactions are genuine and endearing, and Akira can’t get enough.

He loves the way the stars reflect on Akechi’s eyes, too.

The show is over too quickly for his liking, although he knows it’s been around 40 minutes at least.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” says Akechi. “It was a good experience, and I seriously doubt I would have come here on my own.”

Akira simply shrugs and assures him that it was no problem.

When they say goodbye at the train station Akechi says something, but he says it so quietly that Akira almost misses it.

“I hope you can take me to see the actual stars one day.”

His heart is soaring.

Then the second day of the festival happens, Akechi blackmails them and his heart breaks just a little bit. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to eat pancakes again without feeling nauseous, because if their suspicions are right and Akechi is the Black Mask he honestly doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

He’s the leader of the Phantom Thieves. He’s reliable, confident and he  _ always _ has a plan. His team counts on him to deal with this situation, but that’s a possibility he doesn’t even want to think about.

It’s one thing crushing on your cute detective rival, it’s another thing crushing on the serial murderer trying to pin his crimes on you.

When he meets Akechi again he does his best to act like nothing’s changed, to act like they did before he blackmailed them. He thinks he’s succeeding when Akechi does something that takes him completely by surprise.

He  _ flirts _ with him. Akira doesn’t know what provoked this. Was this just Akechi finally dropping his act around him, was it their kind of date at the planetarium or was this prompted by Akira’s slip-up at Leblanc? Nevertheless, he does something he knows he shouldn’t. He sets his suspicions aside and goes with it.

Their careful dance of side-glances and soft words turn into something else. There’s no more subtlety, only blatant  _ flirting.  _ At one point, they even hold hands, and his heart starts beating like crazy and he blushes bright like the sun on a hot summer day. And Akira is enjoying it, and he thinks Akechi is enjoying it as well, and he gets to forget about the Phantom Thieves for a while. It’s only him and the boy he likes.

Of course, this only works for a while, because then Akechi mentions Sae’s palace and suddenly Akira is thrust back into a world of responsibilities, a world where Akechi and he aren’t simply two awkward teenagers crushing on each other but the leader of a criminal group and the prodigy detective who is blackmailing them (also possible murderer, but Akira likes to forget that one).

He knows he should stop. That he’s crossing a line that shouldn’t be crossed, going down a path that only leads to a broken heart. But a small part of him is telling him to be selfish for once, to do something for himself, others be damned

So he doesn’t stop. Akechi doesn’t stop. And so they enter a different kind of dance. A dance that is so much like their previous  _ will-they-won’t-they _ but so much more charged with tension and desire.

Then Morgana strikes. 

“I’ve noticed, you know,” he says, and Akira tenses up. “I hadn’t said anything in hopes that you would come to your senses on your own, but this isn’t gonna end well.”

Akira already knows this, but hearing out loud from a trusted friend still hurts. He tries to shrug it off.

“It’s nothing, we’re only fooling around. It’s not like I’m going to fall in love with him,” he says. 

Morgana doesn’t look convinced. “Akira…”

“I know what I’m doing,” he cuts him off, drily. Morgana still looks at him with a look that tells him the matter is far from over (seriously, how can a cat be so expressive?), but Akira ignores him for the moment.

He feels a little bad about the tone he used with him, but he can’t help it. He’s mad. Mad with Morgana for calling him out when he was finally getting used to this, mad with Akechi for hiding stuff from him even now, for not trusting him to be able to help him, mad with the world for putting someone so perfect in his way but making the situation so complicated.

But he’s especially mad with himself for letting himself develop deeper feelings for that  _ stupidly adorable  _ detective prince.

So he keeps hanging out with Akechi out of pure spite for the unfairness of his situation (that’s not really the reason but by this point, every excuse is as good as any). They keep going on their outings (he can’t bring himself to call them dates, not after the day at the planetarium) and by the time they officially start the infiltration of Sae’s palace he knows he’s in deep trouble.

Most of his friends have noticed by now, too. Morgana hasn’t brought up the issue again, but if he doesn’t someone else probably will. Akira would bet on Ann, who can see right through Akira’s feelings, or on Makoto, who is more suspicious of Akechi than anyone else. Definitely not Ryuji, who seems painfully oblivious to the little conflict going inside their team.

Although, surprisingly enough, it’s Futaba who tries to talk to him.

“I’m always up for a good enemies to lovers,” she says. “But this is way too dangerous, Akira.”

He knows her well enough by now to know she’s hiding something from him, so he asks her what she’s found out while spying on Akechi, but he only gets a vague answer.

“It’s way too early to know anything for sure. I wanna confirm something before alarming you,” she tells him, and they leave it at that.

He goes to play billiards with Akechi and he feels like the other boy is finally opening himself up to him. A treacherous hope starts crawling its way into his heart, telling him that  _ maybe, maybe _ he can get Akechi to confess what he’s planning and join them for real. So he goes home, content with the way things are going.

Since his life isn’t hard enough, that’s of course when Futaba shows him the recorded call he got from Akechi’s phone and Akira swears his heart finally breaks in two.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can a smile that soft be fake? Akira had always thought he was immune to Akechi’s fake smiles, that he was only affected by the genuine ones the detective reserved for him and only him, but now he sees he was just being fooled by another kind of fake smile.
> 
> He’s drawn to Akechi’s tender smiles like bees are drawn to honey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to my love Goro! He gets Akira cuddles as a birthday present.
> 
> I was originally going to wait until I finished writing the whole thing before publishing this chapter, but I couldn't NOT post something for his birthday. And it's a fluffy chapter, too! 
> 
> Chapter 2 and 3 are slightly shorter but don't worry I make up for it on the later chapters lmao. I went a little overboard with those.
> 
> Twitter: [@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart)

The second time he says it, he’s angry.

A few hours ago, Akira found out Goro Akechi is trying to kill him. They’re now in Sae’s palace, advancing slowly through her gambles and rigged games. The shadows are strong, but they manage using their usual teamwork and taking well-needed rests. 

He tries not to think about it and focus on fighting shadows, but he simply can’t wrap his mind around it.

He knows he _shouldn’t_ be surprised by this turn of events. It was obvious from the very start that Akechi’s meetings with him had no innocent intentions. But he’s _trying to kill him_ , honest to god shooting him on the _face_ and that’s something that even in his worst nightmares he wouldn’t have been able to imagine.

They’re in Mementos attending to some Phansite requests when he finally snaps.

“We should rest for a bit,” says Akechi when they reach a rest area.

“Sure thing, _honey_.” The word is loaded with anger, with spite, because he can’t believe what Akechi’s planning to do. He can’t believe he allowed himself to fall so deep for this boy when he knew how _that_ would turn out.

He sees Ann send him a side-glance, a _what are you doing_ kind of look. He doesn’t know if she refers to his little pet name for Akechi (which all of the thieves must’ve heard, oh god) or if she means the tone he used while saying it. He hopes he hasn’t just made his anger painfully obvious.

Akechi doesn’t comment on his spiteful tone, and Akira is glad because the last thing he needs is for him to know they’re onto him.

While they sit on the uncomfortable chairs of the Tokyo subway (they were even more uncomfortable than the real ones, no doubt because of the public’s cognition on them), Akira stares at Akechi. 

Akechi, of course, stares back, and Akira wonders if he’s thinking about the moment he’s going to get to put an end to his justice that Akechi so vehemently despises. Was everything an act? Does Akechi even actually like him, or is his heart full of pure hatred? 

Within Akira’s anger, there’s also disappointment. Even knowing Akechi is planning to kill him, a part deep inside him wishes for _some_ of Akechi’s feelings to be real. He yearns for that kind of connection with someone, specifically with the boy in front of him.

Some time along that train of thought his anger lulls and gives way to sadness and confusion. His relationship with Akechi has always been a mess, a thread full of knots that couldn’t be unknotted, but sorting out his feelings is now harder than ever.

They finish their requests for the day. Akira is happy to be free of Akechi for a few hours, or so he thinks. Because Akechi then decides to follow him to Leblanc.

“I’m really in the mood for a cup of your coffee,” he says, and Akira is too far gone to say no. Not when Akechi is smiling at him like _that_. 

How can a smile that soft be fake? Akira had always thought he was immune to Akechi’s fake smiles, that he was only affected by the genuine ones the detective reserved for him and only him, but now he sees he was just being fooled by another kind of fake smile.

He’s drawn to Akechi’s tender smiles like bees are drawn to honey.

When they arrive on Leblanc Morgana leaves immediately, whispering him to be careful as he leaves to spend the night with Futaba. Akira wonders if leaving him alone with the boy who wants to murder him is a good idea. It would probably be fine.

Akechi sits in his usual spot in the café while Akira works on his coffee. He hates that he has memorized the exact way he likes to take it, hates that he still can't help but pour his very soul into making it.

The other boy starts talking about something that Akira can’t quite catch, but he nods along anyway. His mind is elsewhere. Specifically, he’s thinking about the call where Akechi revealed his _big bad plan_ to kill him and stage it as a suicide.

It had seemed way too convenient.

Bad guy recites his entire evil plan via phone and the good guys so happen to hear it? That kind of thing only happens in bad action movies. Hope is once again crawling its way into Akira’s heart, a kind of hope that hasn’t been there since the last day Akechi and he went to play billiards together.

Because it’s clear that Akechi is planning to kill him, but what if, _what if_ , he doesn’t want to? If Morgana were there he would probably berate him for allowing himself to think like that, for putting his faith on Akechi like that once more, but his heart is too soft on him.

He gives Akechi a gentle smile as he hands him the coffee, and their hands brush as he takes it. It’s clear this is a deliberate action on the other’s part because it could be easily avoided. It’s probably just another way to manipulate him, to cloud his judgement making him develop feelings for him, but it doesn’t stop the tingling he feels right on the spot Akechi touched.

He’s too far gone. 

And probably crazy as well. Normal people don’t feel this way towards people planning to kill them (normal people don’t have others planning to kill them). They don’t feel a longing to touch, to run their fingers through their hair, to kiss them until their lips swell. But Akira’s never been normal, has he?

Instead of wanting to get back at Akechi, to put him behind bars for everything he’s done and is planning to do, he wants to _help_.

To be fair, Akira doesn’t think he’s ever found a person he didn’t want to help in some kind or another, but it’s different with Akechi. He’s never wanted to save someone as much as he wants to save him.

Maybe Akechi doesn’t need saving and he’s reading too much into the situation, driven by that silly hope he’s harbouring, but now that the idea is in his mind he can’t shake it away.

It’s clear Akechi’s boss is someone powerful enough to be able to order an assassination inside a police station, and if Akira is right he’s probably influencing Akechi in some way or another. Maybe even blackmailing him.

“You seem lost in thought,” says Akechi, and Akira gets thrust back into reality.

“Oh, sorry,” he says because he realizes he hasn’t tried to listen to Akechi in a few minutes or even pretended he was listening.

“It’s okay, we’re both tired,” he comments. “What were you thinking about?”

He tries to come up with an excuse, but what comes out of his lips is something completely different.

“About how pretty you are,” he tells him.

Akira expects some kind of flirtatious comeback, but that isn’t Akechi’s plan.

“Do you want to go up to your room to see a movie?” he asks, and the look he sends him as he says it sends shivers down Akira’s spine.

He should refuse. This is going into dangerous territory.

Instead, he nods like the lovestruck fool he is. They go to his attic and sit on the bed after putting on a random movie. Akira doesn’t even pay attention to what it’s about nor he wants to, focusing only on the sensation of Akechi’s side pressing to his own. 

He can feel Akechi against him, and he’s honestly surprised by his forwardness. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting to come out from this, but the warmth of another person against him is comforting in a different way from Morgana’s warmth when he sleeps on his chest. It’s such an unfamiliar but good sensation that Akira’s eyelids start to feel heavy. Before he can help it, his head drops on Akechi’s shoulder.

He feels the other boy tense up, which doesn’t make sense because he was the one urging for closeness in the first place, but he dozes off before being able to dwell on that thought for too long.

When his eyes open again the clock reads 1 am and he feels Akechi’s head resting on his own. He’s light-headed, probably because he’s still just half asleep, and the domesticity of the situation makes his heart flutter.

He rejoices in that position for a little bit more before deciding to wake the other boy up. He doesn’t want him to hurt his neck staying in that position for any more time than necessary (and isn’t that ironic, worrying this much about his health knowing what he knows about Akechi).

He lazily opens his eyes. Akira thinks it’s unfair that someone with such bad intentions has such a cute way of waking up.

“Akira? What time is it?” he asks, visibly confused.

And _oh_ his sleepy voice. Fuck. Akira needs to snap out of it.

“It’s 1 am. The trains aren’t running anymore,” he answers.

It seems to take Akechi a few moments to process the information. “Oh,” he simply exclaims.

“Looks like you have to stay here for the night,” he says with a joking tone while trying to mask his nervousness. 

And Morgana was spending the time at Futaba's that night of all possible night’s. Akira is so fucked.

Akechi doesn’t fight him on his suggestion, if only because there’s not a lot of other alternatives. He isn’t about to let Akechi walk from Yongen-Jaya to his apartment at 1 am, possible murderer or not.

He thinks about how he isn’t afraid at all of letting Akechi spend the night there. There’s only nervousness for having the boy he likes in the same room as him while he sleeps. This is all very domestic, considering the situation.

That’s when it hits him. He doesn’t have a futon, and unless one of them is willing to spend the night in his _very_ uncomfortable sofa, there’s only one option.

He doesn’t know if it’s because he’s sleepy or because he simply doesn’t care anymore, but he isn’t thinking when he says the following words.

“We should just lay down and sleep,” he whispers.

Akechi is still half asleep but it looks like there’s still enough energy in him to protest to his suggestion. The Akechi of hours ago that was straightforward and direct with his intentions seems to be nothing but a faint memory now.

“C’mon,” Akira Insists. “I’m not gonna let you sleep on that couch, and I sure as hell don’t want to wake up with horrible back pain.”

He tries to fight him on it a little bit more, but in the end, the exhaustion of the day seems to win him over and they end up laying on the bed together. His bed is tiny, and even though they try to touch as little as possible there’s still quite a lot of contact.

The position is awkward, his arm hurts and so does his leg and why is he even doing this when hours ago they were almost cuddling together while watching a movie. That’s when Akira’s lack of self-preservation kicks again.

He lays on his side and puts his arm over Akechi. He tenses up much like when Akira laid his head on his shoulder. But this time he’s quick to relax, and letting out a sigh he scoops closer to Akira. They end up wrapped in each other’s arms, with Akechi’s head tucked in his chest.

Akechi looks more relaxed than he’s ever been, his breathing quickly evening out as he falls asleep. Akira smiles, but it takes him a while to fall asleep himself, his mind filled with a myriad of thoughts.

That is probably one of Akira’s worst qualities. His mind tends to run at full speed late at night when all he wants to do is to sleep. It’s in the cold of the night when the bad thoughts, the what-ifs and his worst regrets come to haunt him. He’s always been an overthinker, but at night he’s at his worst.

In the end, listening to Akechi’s breathing like it were a lullaby, he relaxes and finally falls asleep.

The next morning is awkward, but both of them look more well-rested than they’ve looked in weeks, so Akira counts that as a victory. He makes Akechi a cup of coffee under Sojiro’s suspicious glare, and they have breakfast together. LeBlanc is usually silent when he wakes up, but that morning it’s filled with chatter and he finds that he really likes spending the morning with Akechi.

Even as he gets an earful from Morgana, there’s a smile that never leaves his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter will be out soon! Go follow me on Twitter, I never shut up about this fic over there.
> 
> Also, ao3 has been randomly adding spaces to my stuff? Sorry about that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the next day after Akira and Akechi slept in the same bed, and the initial awkwardness has gone completely away. In fact, both the awkwardness from doing something so intimate and the tension from Akira finding out about Akechi’s plan have been replaced by their usual romantic tension.
> 
> He would say that it’s even more intense than it was before that night.
> 
> So they’re back to flirting like two hormonal teenagers, and his friends are back to looking at him with disdain because they can’t believe he’s really doing this. Everything is fine until they actually ask him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the shortest chapter, but don't worry I compensate plenty in the next chapter... interpret that as you'd like ;)
> 
> Sorry it took longer than expected! This is my least favourite chapter and my indecisiveness made me rewrite a chunk of it.
> 
> Twitter: [@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart)

The third time he says it, it’s what he’d like to call friendly teasing.

It’s the next day after Akira and Akechi slept in the same bed, and the initial awkwardness has gone completely away. In fact, both the awkwardness from doing something so intimate and the tension from Akira finding out about Akechi’s plan have been replaced by their usual romantic tension.

He would say that it’s even more intense than it was before that night.

So they’re back to flirting like two hormonal teenagers, and his friends are back to looking at him with disdain because they can’t believe he’s really doing this. Everything is fine until they actually ask him.

It’s a normal school day (as normal as it can be with them) when Ann drags him by the arm to the student council room, where Makoto is waiting for them. That’s when Akira realizes he’s been cornered.

“This is an intervention,” says Makoto, and if those words were coming out of anyone else’s mouth Akira wouldn’t have taken them seriously but the way she says them makes him feel like he’s really in trouble.

“Akira… what are you doing with Akechi?” asks Ann, with a much softer tone.

It’s clear they’re playing the good cop/bad cop game. Akira isn’t letting it intimidate him.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he lies.

Makoto crosses her arms. “You’re lying.”

“We’ve all seen the looks you send each other. Most of us, anyway,” she says. “The looks you kept sending each other in Mementos… seriously, what’s up with that?”

His own potential romantic involvement with Akechi is truly the last thing he wants to discuss with his friends, especially now, but it looks like he has no choice in the matter.

“We were… kind of flirting, I guess. Before all of this happened,” he says, and tries not to blush while he says it. “I thought you two of all people would’ve been able to catch on that.”

“We did,” says Makoto. “The question is why are you  _ still _ doing it.”

Now, this is the moment when Akira could say the truth, come clean to his friends. Tell them the truth, that he can’t stop even though he has tried. He’s sure they’d understand and help him find a way around it, something safer.

Instead, he lies.

“If I started acting differently out of the blue,” he says. “He would catch onto it and realize something is going on.”

It’s a poorly made excuse, and under Makoto’s intense gaze he thinks there’s no way it’s going to work.

Except it does. Sure, his two friends don’t look too convinced, but they let him go with promises that he’ll be careful around Akechi and always try to keep Morgana around. He says that he will and they leave it at that.

So they continue their dance, only it changes from a waltz into something akin to a tango. More lingering touches, stares that say more than a thousand words, nights at the jazz club talking about nothing and everything at the same time. All while infiltrating Sae’s palace and trying to ignore the ticking clock that would mark the end of their little romantic charade.

They set their plan to counter Akechi’s, and it’s crazier than anything they've ever done. There’s a high chance that it will end with Akira’s death, but even though he  _ is  _ worried (he isn’t  _ that _ crazy), he also has faith in his team.

A little voice at the back of his brain is also telling him that even if the plan fails and Akechi ends up in the interrogation room with the real Akira, he’ll be able to convince him to not kill him. That is if he doesn’t get to him before then. Foolish hopes.

He doesn’t think anything of it when he gets Akechi’s messages asking him to meet up. His tone is as serious as ever through text, not like he has any room to talk. He takes the train to Kichijoji immediately (does that make him seem desperate?) and meets him in front of the Darts and Billiards place.

“It’d be best if we went somewhere where there aren’t many people around. How about, let’s say… Mementos?”

Akira’s danger sense kicks in immediately. A request like that is suspicious as hell, and even Akira isn’t dumb enough to fall for something like that. Come on, “somewhere where there aren’t many people around”? That screams of murder.

Nevertheless, he accepts, because as it’s already been established he has literally no sense of self-preservation. He takes solace in the fact that he has Morgana with him, and in the worst-case scenario it’d be a 2 vs. 1 fight.

But then Morgana leaves him alone with Akechi again, only this time it’s even more dangerous because  _ what the hell, Morgana. _

They take a train to Shibuya (wouldn’t have it been easier to meet up there? Way to make him spend money in the train fare, Akechi) and activate the Meta-Nav.

Then Akechi points a gun at him and Akira’s only thought is that  _ he fucked up _ . Both Morgana and he were too confident in the fact that Akechi wouldn’t deviate from his original plan of staging his death as a suicide, and that’s gonna get him killed now.

And the worst part about all this is that isn't even the whole reason, because Akira knows exactly that the real reason he accepted Akechi’s request to come here is that he was too blinded by his own passion for this boy to say no.

“Remember what I told you? If you ever won against me using my right hand, I’d take you on with everything I’ve got,” he tells him.

Akechi is smiling as he says it, but it’s not a murderous smile. Then again, he may just have an unconventional I’m-about-to-kill-you smile. Most people don’t smile when they’re about to commit murder, anyway.

Then he keeps talking, except it feels more like a rival’s speech than a villain giving his final words to the hero before delivering the final blow.

And oh,  _ oh _ , he doesn't want to kill him, he wants to fight him. Which, okay, is weird, but at least it’s not the end of the line for Akira.

He accepts because even when he has a crush on the boy and he now knows they’re also enemies, there’s a part of him that hasn’t stopped thinking of Akechi as his rival and probably never will.

The fight is chaotic, but Akira has the upper hand during the whole ordeal. He doesn’t know for how long they fight, but it’s Akechi who marks the end of it.

“...No wonder you’re the leader of the Phantom Thieves,” he says, and Akira knows the fight is over.

They talk for a couple more minutes and then they leave Mementos. Staying would only serve to get them both killed by the Reaper.

“Once again, I’ve learned something new about you today,” he says when they’re at the entrance of the subway.

“As allies fighting alongside one another, your strength is truly reassuring. In all honesty, it’s to the point that I’d be relying on you in a pinch.” 

This statement shakes Akira to the core. He wants to tell him that he  _ can _ rely on him. That Akira wants to be there for him, that he and the other Phantom Thieves can help him.

“I’d say the same for you,” is what he says instead, very obviously lying. Yes, he  _ would _ have trusted Akechi in matters of strength, but he can’t rely on him when he knows he’s a traitor.

Akechi chuckles, and it’s truly a wonderful sound. He loves hearing Akechi laugh. It’s anti-climatic, but he feels closer to Akechi, like he somehow understands him better.

He already knew he was competitive, but now he understands how deep that sense of competitiveness goes. He probably takes their rivalry even more seriously than Akira himself. Akechi likes to play his competitivity as something minor, something he takes seriously but not too much. Akira knows better now.

He can’t help the smirk that appears on his face. Akechi isn’t that good of an actor once you get to know him a little.

Then he asks him what Akira thinks would be the outcome if they finished the fight, and Akira isn’t stupid. He knows why he’s asking.

“I wouldn’t lose,” he answers. And it’s the truth, because he doesn’t know if he’d be able to finish a real fight with Akechi, but he definitely wouldn’t allow himself to lose.

“I had a feeling you’d say that,” he says. He smirks, and that’s the first time Akira sees that kind of expression on him. He likes it. “I’m going to be entirely honest with you: I hate you.”

And,  _ ouch,  _ that hurts, because even though Akechi’s statement doesn’t sound aggressive or malicious, he can tell there’s some truth behind it. So yeah, his crush hates him at least a little, and wants to kill him, and Akira doesn’t know what his life is anymore.

“Your deft handling of your unfortunate circumstances, your uniqueness, your ability to surpass me—all these irritate me.”

Akira is confused, because all of those are compliments but he’s saying it as if it were an insult.

Akechi’s expression as he says this is another one he hadn’t seen before—he’s angry, and Akira thinks that anger looks good on him, more natural than any of those smiles he gives on TV.

“...You’re the one person I refuse to lose to,” he finishes.

Akira can relate to that because he feels the same way. He tells him so. Akechi’s surprised face is one he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget.

What happens next is probably the most Akechi thing he’s ever seen.

“I’ll let you have this win today—but next time, I will be victorious. Let this be my proof.” Then, he takes off his glove and throws it at Akira.

He tries really hard not to laugh. 

“There’s a tradition in the West to throw one’s glove at their opponent when demanding a duel. Should the opponent accept the glove, the duel is also accepted,” he explains.

“I accept,” he says, because he honestly doesn’t know what else to say.

“Make certain that you never forget: I am the one who will defeat you.”

Akira smirks, and says what’s on his mind.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a drama queen, honey?”

Akechi seems taken aback for a moment, no doubt not expecting Akira to slip back into their flirtations as easily as he just did after everything that just went down between the two of them.

He huffs and pays it no mind.

“Ah, look at the time. Let’s call it a day for now.”

They part ways and head home.

Akira feels good, because Akechi’s expressions today have been more genuine than ever, but he also feels empty. No matter how genuine his expressions are, it won’t matter if he doesn’t open up to him and lets him help.

_ Next time, I will be victorious. _ He prefers not to think about when the next time would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus: the line «“I’d say the same for you,” is what he says instead, very obviously lying» was a John Mulaney reference in the first draft («Instead he says “I’d say the same for you” you know, like a liar») but I changed it because it felt unprofessional. My friends made me put it here as a bonus though.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you ready for tomorrow?” Akira finally asks. And what a stupid question, because what he really wants to ask is why.
> 
> Why are you doing this?
> 
> What motivates Goro Akechi? What happened that turned him into a person unable to trust anyone, capable of anything to pursue his goals? What even is his goal, what does he want to accomplish with all of this?
> 
> But he can’t say any of that, so he settles for that simple question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 4! And it's got Food. The first half was a blast to write but the second half uuuuh proved to be a LOT more difficult.
> 
> As for chapters 5 and 6, it may take me a while to get them done because I'm currently writing a few one-shots for a fandom event (which is coincidentally also the reason why this one took so long too) and I'm a slowpoke when it comes to writing.
> 
> My Twitter: [@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart)

The fourth time he says it, it’s a promise.

They have secured the route to Sae’s treasure. Akira knows what comes next, but he’s not ready. He knows that sending that calling card will be popping the little bubble of happiness they’ve been living in, that will mark the end of his fantasy with Akechi.

Akechi is going forward with his plan, and so are they.

(A part of him wants to just come clean to Akechi, to tell him they know in a foolish attempt to stop this madness. But he can’t do that, not when it could mean the end of everything they’ve been working towards.)

The fact that they can’t send the calling card until the very deadline is also nerve-wracking. He wants to send it and get it done with, but he also knows that even if he could he would probably delay it to the very last moment.

The days pass awfully fast. The closer the deadline, the sicker Akira feels. The nausea in his stomach won’t go away, and he can barely sleep. Then the day to send the calling card arrives. To Akira, it feels like the end of the world. And it might as well be, considering he could die tomorrow.

Slowly all the Phantom Thieves start leaving the Leblanc attic, to the point that it’s only Akechi and he left. How Akechi is able to keep up his act even now, Akira doesn’t know.

They stand awkwardly for a few moments, none of them quite knowing what to say.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” says Morgana before leaving the attic. This seems to break the awkward spell, and both sit on Akira’s uncomfortable sofa.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Akira finally asks. And what a stupid question, because what he really wants to ask is _why_.

_Why are you doing this?_

What motivates Goro Akechi? What happened that turned him into a person unable to trust anyone, capable of anything to pursue his goals? What even is his goal, what does he want to accomplish with all of this?

But he can’t say any of that, so he settles for that simple question.

“I’m somewhat nervous. This _is_ my first time doing this,” answers Akechi. “And the last, I guess.”

And then he chuckles, the absolute bastard.

Akira hasn’t been angry since he first heard the call from Futaba’s phone, but somehow Akechi’s comment sets him off. His blood starts boiling

“And whose fault is that?” he replies, doing his best to mask his actual anger.

“You know I’m only trying to do my job,” Akechi answers, fighting back.

 _Only trying to do his job._ Hah, what a joke.

They keep that up for a few minutes, throwing comebacks to one another. It somehow feels intimate, like all of those nights at the Jazz Club they had spent debating whatever Akechi had in his mind at that moment.

Maybe it’s that sense of intimacy, of belonging, which prompts what happens next.

If you asked Akira, he wouldn’t be able to tell you who leaned in first. But suddenly they’re crashing into each other, and all he can think about is the feeling of Akechi’s lips on his. It’s clumsy, and frantic, and Akira doesn’t quite know where to put his hands but he’s enjoying every second of it.

Their noses bump, and he feels Akechi tilt his head to the side. He grabs a handful of Akira’s shirt with one hand, pulling him closer, if that was even possible, and digs his other hand into Akira’s messy hair. 

Their kiss breaks momentarily when Akechi yanks Akira’s glasses off his face.

“These bother me,” he says, and his voice is hoarse and, _oh_ , Akira swears his body is on fire.

Akira doesn’t know where his glasses end up, but he can’t bring himself to care, because then Akechi’s hands are back on him and they’re kissing again. This time it’s more deliberate, the initial roughness having faded a little.

But the passion is still there, like a flame they’ve been fueling for months and that was in dire need for attention. 

Akira moves his hands to Akechi’s long hair and pulls at his locks. This draws a groan from his lips, which sends shivers down Akira’s spine. They’re pressed completely against each other now, and Akira can feel every part of Akechi against his own body.

He doesn’t know how much their kiss lasts, but it feels like hours. Akechi’s warmth feels so good against him, reminding him of the day they spent the night together but _so much better_. He feels Akechi sigh, and he can’t help but smile against the other’s mouth.

Then, Akechi bites his lower lip, and Akira lets out a small moan. It’s Akechi’s time to smile against the kiss, and he can’t see his face but he can bet it’s one of his stupidly smug smiles.

 _Two can play a game,_ he thinks.

He moves his hands, that were still buried in Akechi’s hair, under the other boy’s shirt. His skin is hot, so hot it almost _burns_ , and this seems to do the trick because it’s Akechi who moans now. It’s such a pretty sound, and he wants to hear more of it, to be the one provoking it.

He doesn’t get the opportunity to, though, because then Akechi breaks them apart. They stay looking into each other’s eyes, breathing heavily, so hard that Akira swears he can even smell the dust in his old attic.

Akechi’s expression is unreadable, emotions showing in his eyes like a summer storm, so many of them that he doubts even Akechi himself knows how he actually feels. As for Akira, he can barely remember his anger from before, he’s too busy listening to his own frenetic heartbeat and feeling the butterflies in his stomach that even now refuse to calm down.

In those few seconds after the kiss, Akira can feel everything: from the warmth slowly leaving his body to the ache of his swollen lips.

It’s Akechi who speaks up first.

“I should go,” he says, and Akira can’t feel but feel a little bit disappointed.

“Yeah, big day tomorrow,” he answers.

That’s all they say, not a word about what just happened. It’s probably for the best, he thinks, knowing that tomorrow everything is gonna end.

His teammates talk about how they’re gonna win against Akechi, about how they’re gonna outsmart him, but Akira can’t feel like that. He realizes that no matter the outcome, it will feel like a defeat to him.

When Morgana comes back, he’s already fallen asleep.

The next 24 hours are probably the worst of Akira’s life. He knew the risks to their plan, but as he takes hits from the police officers —on his ribs, his face, his stomach, _god why does everything hurt_ — he thinks that maybe they hadn’t planned this as exhaustively as they thought.

Then the drugs come, and Akira starts to think that their plan may actually fail after all.

He doesn’t remember much after that, and next thing he knows he wakes up at Tae’s clinic. He feels light-headed, and nauseous, and everything _hurts_ , but at least he’s alive. When he tries to get up, he gets so dizzy he can’t help but lie down again.

Tae enters right after that and explains to him the situation. 

A couple of hours, he’s ready to go back to Leblanc and meet his friends. All of them are ecstatic to see him, and Akira tries to act as he always does, not minding that absolutely everything hurts, despite the situation. They decide that once Akira’s injuries are a little better they’ll start their plan.

The physical injuries, at least. Akira doesn’t know if he’ll ever heal from the mental ones.

Shido’s palace is the craziest thing Akira’s ever seen. He’d think it was amazing if he didn’t know what it really meant, that this man thinks about the rest of the country as disposable as long as he gets to accomplish his goals.

They advance steadily, getting the five letters of recommendation slowly but surely, and they’re right about to secure the infiltration route to the treasure when their plan goes down the drain.

Akechi is there.

Akira freezes for a few seconds. He thinks about how the last time he saw Akechi they were kissing, unlike the last time Akechi saw him—the last time he saw him (or at least, his cognitive version), he _killed_ him.

Akechi looks at him like he just saw a ghost. Akira wants to know what's going on in his head right now.

“Long time no see,” he says, and the expression on his face is crazed in a way that almost scares Akira. 

Futaba says something, but he can barely register it. His whole focus is on the boy in front of him.

“Hmph… I’m impressed that you managed to deceive me. It seems I underestimated your abilities,” he answers, and his voice as he says it sounds so cold, so unlike the Akechi he had known so far, that he can barely believe it’s his.

Akechi keeps talking, and Akira listens to every word with the utmost attention.

“Under better circumstances, we could have been great rivals… perhaps even friends.”

“It’s not too late,” he replies, truthfully. There’s still something within him refusing to give up on him, and he hopes Akechi hasn’t given up on himself either.

Then he laughs—and he hates every second of it. That laugh isn’t Akechi’s, he knows it isn’t, it doesn’t matter how much he’s trying to convince them it is.

“I wonder why we couldn’t have met a few years earlier, Akira…” he admits.

Akira wonders that too. He thinks that maybe, if he had met him before, he may have been able to make him see that life isn’t a war—he doesn’t have to see everyone as an enemy, and especially not him.

Hearing Akechi’s story, about who his father is and what he did to him, makes everything make even more sense.

Despite the situation, Akira feels like he understands Akechi better, like he finally got to see every part of him, not masks to hide behind.

Soon enough, they’re fighting. It’s a tough fight, even tougher than their one on one in Mementos, but he has his team to support him. Akechi has no one.

And that’s the whole issue, isn’t it? In Akechi’s cognition, he’s alone, in an out of battle, and he is unable to think that anyone would want him, _the real him,_ around. He isn’t alone, he had Akira and he could have him again, if only he were able to see past his own pain.

Akira _wants_ to be there for him, even now.

The fight ends with them victorious, because not even Akechi can win against them on his own.

“Damn it!” exclaims Akechi, kneeling on the ground.

His teammates are talking before he can, and he is surprised to hear that none of them wants to fight Akechi either, even if it’s for different reasons than Akira’s. Nevertheless, they’re trying to show him that there’s more to life than pure revenge.

“And… you don’t really hate Joker, do you?” says Morgana. “That smile before we fought… Isn’t that how you really feel?” 

Akira hopes he’s right.

“Follow your true feelings! Even if you think people hate you or don’t want you around—”

That’s when Akechi loses it. He starts yelling nonsense, completely unhinged, and Akira feels terrified once more. He wonders if this is the true Akechi, the man behind the mask, but he can’t bring himself to believe that. This can’t be all that there is to Goro Akechi.

“Why am I inferior to you!?” he yells, this time looking directly at him. “I was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image, so someone would want me around! I am an ace detective… A celebrity! ”

He hears Haru say Akechi’s name, and he knows she must be wondering the same as him. _What kind of hell has he gone through to think like that?_

“But you… you’re just some criminal trash living in an attic! So how… How does someone like you have things I don’t?! How can such a worthless piece of trash be more special than me?!” he tells him, and Akira would be lying if he said that each insult didn’t hurt like a knife to the heart.

“Look inside yourself,” he answers. “We’re equals.”

He wants to make him see that he has _always_ thought of Akechi as someone who stands by his side, as an equal. Never as some kind of _inferior being._

Akechi doesn’t react well to his words.

“All I care about is killing you… to prove I’m better than you!”

That’s when Akechi becomes Black Mask, and Akira knows this is the _next time_ they talked about after their duel.

Akechi is stronger now—but he’s also completely careless and out of control, which makes the fight easier than it should be.

“You ready to call it quits?” asks Ryuji, Akechi lying on the ground, defeated.

“I know… I’ve had enough,” he says. “...You’re so lucky. Lucky to be surrounded… by teammates who acknowledge you…”

Once again it’s the other Phantom Thieves who react faster than him, trying to get Akechi to see the light. He’d never expected to see his friends offering him a place amongst them again, but he’s pleased to see it’s the case.

“You should get rid of me… if you don’t want me getting in your way,” he says, and he sounds broken. “...You all are truly beyond my comprehension.”

His voice as he says this breaks Akira’s heart, but he thinks he may be able to convince him to come with them. Akechi is finally opening up to him, and he’s not going to miss the opportunity to finally save him.

However, Akira should know by now that things rarely go according to plan. Especially when one Goro Akechi is involved in them.

That’s when Akechi enters the engine room. Except it’s not _his_ Akechi, because he is pointing a gun to the real Akechi’s head.

He’s never been more afraid in his life.

“...I’ll deal with the rest of you later,” says the cognitive Akechi, and his voice is cold as a bucket of ice.

Not-Akechi explains to them Shido’s evil masterplan to get rid of his Akechi. Akira’s blood boils, because how dare he? How dare Shido take everything away from his Akechi, to make his life a living hell?

Everything else be damned, Akira’s not going to let Shido get rid of his Akechi like he’s disposable.

He’s not the only one prepared to fight, to save Akechi from _himself_ , both figuratively and literally, when Not-Akechi summons a horde of shadows. Akira doesn’t care. He’s about to step up and help his Akechi anyway, to risk his life for him, when Not-Akechi makes him point his gun at him.

Akira isn’t afraid for himself. He’s sure Akechi won’t shoot him, not a second time. He’s afraid for his Akechi, because he has no plan to get out of this. They’re cornered, and he has no idea of how to get all of them out of there alive.

He has no time to form a coherent plan, because then his Akechi shoots Not-Akechi and brings down the watertight bulkhead door.

“Hurry up and go!” yells Akechi from the other side of the door.

Akira’s thoughts are going at an immeasurable speed, trying to find a way to get him out of there.

“Change Shido’s heart… in my stead… End his crimes…” he says, breathing heavily after every word. “Please!”

At that moment, Akira knows that he can’t do anything to help him. He can only trust Akechi to find his way back to him.

“I’ll hold on to your glove,” he says, and it’s a promise to see each other again. “Don’t die, _honey._ ”

Right after Akira says this they hear the gunshot.

“His signal is… gone…” tells them Futaba.

They can’t do anything anymore, it’s too late. So they secure their route to the treasure, because they will at least fulfill Akechi’s wish to bring Shido down.

Lying on his bed at night, his mind is still dwelling on Akechi.

He knows that the chances of him being alive are slim. For that to have happened, Futaba’s readings would have had to be wrong and he would have had to find his way out of Shido’s ship as injured as he was.

But he can’t let go of Goro Akechi, not yet.

 _I want to keep our promise,_ he thinks to himself.

Nevertheless, Akira doesn’t manage to fall asleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See y'all in a bit with chapter 5! That one has some fluff in it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He puts his arms around Akechi in a desperate hug.
> 
> “Thank God,” he says. “I thought I was going crazy .”
> 
> Akechi tenses up for a second, like he seems to do every time he gets human contact, but rapidly seems to relax. He melts into Akira’s arms.
> 
> “Whatever, Kurusu,” he says, and his tone of disdain doesn’t seem to work quite well when he has his head buried in Akira’s hair. “I’m just glad you’re still yourself, even in a situation as unorthodox as this one… if not, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
> 
> Akechi’s confession surprises him, as he didn’t think he would be so open about his emotions even now, but he embraces it with open arms. If Akechi is starting to finally open up to him, he isn’t going to question it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know I said it'd take a bit before I updated but in my defence, I'll say I had this written already. This is probably my favourite chapter (and the longest!) so I hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> Definitely don't expect an update before the end of July/the start of August, though—chapter 6 isn't written yet, and I have to work on that fandom event I said I was gonna participate on ([check it out if you're into Zack/Cloud from FF7, I'm gonna be doing one fic per week](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797526)).
> 
> That said, here's the chapter.
> 
> My Twitter: [@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart)

The fifth time he says it, he thinks it may be the last time.

It’s Christmas Eve, and Akira just fought God. But he isn’t even thinking about that anymore. Yaldabaoth is dead now, the Metaverse gone, and that’s all that there is to it. What Akira _is_ thinking about is Akechi.

Akechi who is alive and showed up just in time to turn himself in Akira’s place.

He feels at peace, knowing he’s alive. The past days had been the hardest of his life, especially because he was locked up in the attic all day alone with his thoughts. Akira admits he had fought Shido with anger for both him and Akechi, for the life of opportunities he had destroyed for him and for the life Akechi could have had.

So yes, knowing Akechi was alive is like a weight off his chest. 

For the first time in weeks, Akira goes to sleep without any worries. No corrupted politicians, ghosts of dead loves he failed to save or gods of control to bother him.

The next few days go by calmly. He tries reaching out to Akechi multiple times, but he never answers his messages or picks up his calls. It hurts, but Akira isn’t naïve enough to think Akechi would want anything to do with him anymore.

They had been rivals, then something more than friends and finally enemies. Now they are back to being nothing.

Akechi would probably have to face retribution in court but, after that, he would have the rest of his life to finally _live_. He doesn’t need Akira. Which, yes, pains him, but it’s fine. Akechi deserves a chance to live without his father’s shadow looming in the distance.

So Akira stops his contacting attempts. He finally takes some time to rest, goes back to school (which is strangely satisfying), makes sure to thank Kawakami for covering for him and mostly goes on with his life.

When Kasumi asks him to the temple on New Years, he accepts. All his friends are coincidentally there, and it should be a happy moment by all means. But all Akira can focus on is on the absence of a certain detective prince.

Then it’s finally January 1st and something is wrong again. Wakaba Isshiki is alive, Suzui never left Shujin, Ryuji is still running… everything is fine, yet it feels like it’s wrong. He’s the only one who notices, though, so he tries to let it go. Maybe he’s just starting to get sick.

His doubts about the situation go away when _Akechi_ walks into Leblanc.

They go to the laundromat, and they talk and Akira finally can let the breath he had unknowingly been holding go.

He puts his arms around Akechi in a desperate hug.

“Thank God,” he says. “I thought I was going _crazy_.”

Akechi tenses up for a second, like he seems to do every time he gets human contact, but rapidly seems to relax. He _melts_ into Akira’s arms.

“Whatever, Kurusu,” he says, and his tone of disdain doesn’t seem to work quite well when he has his head buried in Akira’s hair. “I’m just glad you’re still yourself, even in a situation as unorthodox as this one… if not, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

Akechi’s confession surprises him, as he didn’t think he would be so open about his emotions even now, but he embraces it with open arms. If Akechi is starting to finally open up to him, he isn’t going to question it.

He’s about to make his own confession, something he’s had buried in his heart for probably months now, when his phone rings and Akechi breaks their embrace.

When he looks at the caller ID he sees it’s none other than Kasumi calling him.

A few minutes later, Akechi and he are taking a train to Odaiba. The train ride is silent and awkward, and they keep sending side-glances to each other while pretending to hear the headlines the train announcer is reciting (which are all weirdly optimistic—not a single bad one).

They get there, and there is indeed a Palace in reality, but that shouldn’t be possible. Akira still has no idea of what exactly is going on, but whatever it is it’s something big.

And it’s related to the Metaverse, which shouldn’t be possible because they _destroyed_ it.

Going through a Palace with Akechi —the real one, not the persona he had fabricated— is an interesting experience, even though Akira’s pretty sure he’s freaking out Kasumi with his violent personality.

(Akira kind of likes it, which sounds wrong when you say it like that but—whatever, he’s just _blinded by love_ , like Ann would say.)

They make a great team, just like they did when they were going through Sae’s palace. 

“Would you say this is how Akechi-san normally is? Like a, uh… ruthless sort of person?” whispers Kasumi to him.

“Just everyday Akechi,” he answers, and he can’t help the fondness with which he says this.

Akechi catches them red-handed.

“What say we save the idle chatter for later and keep moving?” he says. “Unless teaming up with a ‘ruthless sort of person’ is too much for you to handle.”

Akira just flashes him a teasing smile before they keep moving, which Akechi thankfully returns with an amused glare. He could never be too much for him to handle.

They keep moving at a steady pace, and finally, they meet the palace ruler. Seeing doctor Maruki there is weird, but it also feels a little bit like betrayal, because this man had been one of his closest confidants during the past year.

There’s also the matter of Kasumi not actually being Kasumi, which is bizarre because apparently Akira is the only person who had no idea that she was in fact Sumire Yoshizawa. He doesn’t want to imagine what people hearing him call her Kasumi must’ve thought.

Unfortunately, Kasumi—or Sumire, Akira still doesn’t quite know what to call her— sides with the doctor, which in consequence causes Akechi and Akira to be defeated. They have no choice but to accept the doctor’s conditions and return in a week.

Akira spends the time they’ve been given trying to knock some sense into his friend’s heads (especially Morgana, it’s just weird having a teenager who was previously a cat _sleeping in the same bed as him_ ) and texting Akechi.

They haven’t talked about anything important, not really, but Akira can see that conversation coming. They can’t keep delaying the inevitable.

One day, Akechi invites him to go to the Jazz Club, just like they used to. The train ride there feels impossibly long, the yearning to see Akechi again making him antsy.

They sit together there like they always did, and Akira thinks about how those days feel so far away even though it was only a few weeks ago. They’re sitting in silence but, unlike how it used to be, it’s a silence filled with tension.

Akechi’s invitation had been out of the blue, so it’s obvious to Akira that the cause of this tension is the unspoken words between the two of them. They sit there listening to the music for a while, neither of them really knowing how to start a conversation.

“Do you know how I realized something was wrong?” asks Akechi out of the blue, looking down at his drink.

Akira just stares at him with a questioning look, waiting for him to continue talking. 

“I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like something was wrong,” he says. “I didn’t know what it was, because as far as I was concerned everything had been going remarkably well. Then I realized that was it, I was too happy.”

Akechi looks up from his drink, and stares directly into Akira’s eyes.

“My whole life, as far as I can remember, I have _never_ been truly happy. So when I realized things were going my way for once it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. That’s why I was so mad at you. You’re like me in a lot of ways, and yet, people want you around. No one ever wants to keep me in their lives, no matter what I do.”

Akira secretly wonders if this is the first time Akechi truly opens up to someone about his feelings. His words have left him speechless, so he says the only thing he thinks may make things better.

“But _I_ want you in my life,” he tells him.

Akechi isn’t stupid, and neither is Akira. Both of them are aware of the _thing_ that was going on between them before everything went to hell. That kiss was a hard one to forget, and everything that came before that as well.

So the implication in Akira’s words doesn’t get past Akechi, there’s no way he can miss it.

“Why, I wonder,” Akechi answers, scoffing. “But, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you do.”

There’s a short pause, a few seconds in which Akechi seems to be debating whether to say something else.

“And, I guess… I want you in my life, too,” he confesses.

He has a hand over his face, but that doesn’t do much to cover his blush. Akira thinks it’s the cutest sight he’s ever had the pleasure to behold. He doesn’t say anything and instead just stares at Akechi with what he’s sure could be described as a lovestruck expression.

Because there’s no doubt in his mind now that he loves Akechi and Akechi loves him back. They might not have said it out loud, but things are never ordinary between them. What just happened is as good as any love confession, and Akira is over the moon.

“What’s that stupid smile for?” he asks.

“Nothing,” answers Akira. Because, really, what else is it to say?

Akechi can act as cold as he wants, but Akira can see the ghost of a smile on his lips as well. He wants to kiss it. He likes to think that he’s become an expert in Akechi’s body language, after all these months. He’s happy too, and Akira loves to be the one making Akechi happy.

But that ghost of a smile is gone as fast as it came.

“For now, I think we should focus on the matter at hand,” he says. “Maruki.”

To anyone else, those words wouldn’t have meant much. To Akira, who understands Akechi better than anyone else, they’re like a bucket of cold water thrown over his head. The message is clear to him: this is not the moment to take this any further.

Akira can respect that, and even though he doesn’t share the feeling, he sees his reasoning and lets it go. The least he can do is respect Akechi’s wishes. They’ll have time after all of this is over, anyway.

There’s not much to discuss beyond that, since the only thing they can do is go to the Palace the day Maruki asked them to. They go home, and Akira can’t shake the mixed feelings in his heart.

A part of him is happy because Akechi and he have finally come clean (in their own, unorthodox way). The other part feels guilty because he shouldn’t be feeling like this while the fate of the whole world is at stake, but that seems to be a recurring thing when it comes to him and Akechi.

They just have the worst timing when it comes to feelings.

The next few days come and go in a blur. A lot of stuff happens, and in very Phantom Thieves fashion, they overcome everything that is thrown at them. His friends are back at his side, and so are Akechi and Sumire, and he knows that no matter what, they’ll get through this as long as they do it together.

But his whole world comes crashing down in a matter of minutes.

Maruki comes to talk to him to get his final decision, and he doesn’t really care about whatever he tries to tell him because it’s all bullshit. He has long since decided to reject this reality, and no matter what cultist speech Maruki throws at him he isn’t going to change his mind.

So yes, he doesn’t care, until Akechi enters the picture or, more accurately, the café.

“This issue doesn’t only affect you, Kurusu-kun,” says the doctor. “Akechi-kun, this involves you, too.”

“Both Akechi and me?” he asks. He doesn’t want it to seem like he’s considering Maruki’s proposal, but he can’t ignore the cold fear that he’s suddenly feeling.

He looks at Akechi, who looks more troubled than ever.

“The relationship you two share is very unusual… A detective and a phantom thief. Despite being enemies, your relationship isn’t based on hatred or ill will. That’s why I found it so tragic when I learned what happened in Shido’s palace,” says Maruki.

A horrible realisation starts creeping its way into Akira’s brain, one that he wishes he could ignore.

“Say, Kurusu-kun… Didn’t you regret how things ended with him?” asks Maruki. Yes, he did, but he just wants him to shut up and stop talking. To please not confirm his fear. “You two came to a deep understanding of one another… yet you had no choice but to leave Akechi-kun to his fate. That’s why I created a reality where you two could have a fresh start together.”

Hearing those words feels like taking a bullet to his heart.

Maruki has the gall to tell him that he doesn’t want Akira to feel like he’s holding Akechi hostage, which only makes Akira be angrier at him. He doesn’t know what hurts more, knowing that he has to make a decision or knowing that Akechi was already aware of his situation.

When Maruki asks him again, he actually doubts for a split second but, under Morgana and Akechi’s stares, he gives him the calling card anyway.

“I’ll leave the decision up to you, Akira—let me know when you’ve reached an answer,” says Morgana, and then leaves.

“I will carve my own path for myself. I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, struck under their control for the rest of my days,” says Akechi, not even looking at him.

“But then, you’ll…” starts Akira, not being able to finish the sentence.

“So what? That’s the path I chose. All you have to do is stick to your guns and challenge Maruki. Or, are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life?” he exclaims.

“This isn’t trivial,” he answers, sounding more assertive than he intended.

“It IS!” Akechi bites back. “Do you think I’d be happy with this? Being shown mercy now, of all times? I don’t want to be pitied—this isn’t something I’m debating with you! Your indecisiveness on the matter is essentially a betrayal of my wishes.”

Akira gets it, as much as he would prefer not to. Akechi wants to be in control of his own destiny—and in Maruki’s reality, he would never get to.

There’s also the matter of his friends. Most of them have had to give up a loved one they lost in order to reject this reality, and it would be hypocritical of Akira to not do the same. The only difference is that Akechi is aware of the fake reality, while his friend’s relatives weren’t.

“I want to hear you say it aloud,” says the detective. “What do you intend to do?”

He’s probably afraid of Akira’s indecisiveness, and he’s right to be. Even knowing what the correct choice is, he can’t help but doubt.

“I won’t wait a moment longer. Answer me.”

“We’re stopping Maruki,” he finally says.

“All right. I’m relieved to hear it. I will never accept this form of reality. I’m done being manipulated. Let’s go back… to our true reality.”

And that’s definitely something Akira can relate to. He’s done being manipulated too—by the police, by a false god and now by Maruki. He isn’t letting anyone else decide his destiny for him.

After that there’s not much to say, so Akechi is about to leave. But Akira isn’t having any of that.

“Stay,” he pleads, and Akechi’s glare goes soft.

Akechi sits on one of the stools while Akira prepares both of them a cup of tea—not coffee, not today, when they both need sleep more than ever.

He leaves both cups on the counter, and while Akechi starts drinking his right away Akira prefers to keep himself occupied cleaning some glasses. He needs to do something to keep his hands from shaking.

Everything is finally starting to sink in for real.

Their luck is running out. Last time, they were lucky enough that Doctor Maruki took pity on them and brought Akechi back. There will be no divine interventions this time, no gods to give Akechi back to him.

He can’t take this.

He lets the glass he was cleaning down and, when Akechi mimics him by leaving his cup on the counter, he holds his face with both his hands and bends down to kiss him.

Akechi kisses him back immediately and grabs one of Akira’s arms to bring him closer.

This is nothing like their first kiss. That had been all passion, anger and repressed feelings finally spilling out. It was aggression and desperation. This one is sweet, with the taste of the honey Akira put in their tea lingering on Akechi’s lips. It’s tenderness and love.

They move slowly, and Akira does his best to ignore the pain he’s starting to feel on his back from being bent down.

He loves kissing Akechi. When his lips are against Akechi’s it’s like the rest of the world stops existing and his mind can finally stop overthinking everything. It’s taken two kisses to get Akira addicted to it, and he finds that he doesn’t even care.

They break apart momentarily.

“You know I still want you in my life, right, Akira? If the situation was different…” says Akechi.

“Yeah, I know,” he whispers against his lips. “I love you too, honey.”

And with that, Akechi—no, Goro kisses him again.

Akira doesn’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But what he does know is that he’s going to fight for what he thinks is right, and he will do it for the boy kissing him right now. He owes him that much.

Their kiss, like all good things, has to end, and it happens when Morgana reenters the café.

“Sorry!” he exclaims, realizing what he had just interrupted.

“...It’s fine,” tells him Akira, even though it is most definitely not fine.

Goro gets up to leave and Akira walks him to the door to lock after him.

“See you tomorrow?” he asks.

“Indeed,” answers Goro. “And don’t forget what you promised me.”

“I won’t.”

After that, it’s just Morgana and him. 

“Are you alright?” he asks him.

“No, I’m not,” answers Akira honestly.

He drinks the tea he had forgotten about earlier and prays that it will do something to shake his bad thoughts away and allow him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, check my [Slice of Clack](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797526) fics out if you're into zakkura! I'm working very hard on them. Sorry for the self-promo oops.
> 
> See you all with the final chapter in a month or so.
> 
> 21/08/2020 UPDATE: Oh jeez, last chapter is fully written and 6k as well as beta read BUT the bad news are the reason it's taking so long (and may take a bit more) is that I'm commissioning a friend for a fanart piece of it and she sprained her wrist :( obviously she can't draw like that and I'm not letting her do it so please have patience!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira wakes up with a feeling of dread consuming his whole body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... here we are, the end. I had such a fun time writing this fic, and I want to thank everyone who stayed for the ride! 
> 
> As for future projects, I'm currently working on: a fic for the Goro Big Bang, a shuake roleswap au longfic, all the fics for shuake week and... more shuake wips lol I'm swamped. So subscribe to my ao3 user and follow me on Twitter to keep yourself updated! I'm also working in, yes, a sequel for this. Nothing long, just a one-shot of some Akechi + PTs interaction. My writing has actually improved a lot this summer, if I say do so myself. So look forward to my future fics.
> 
> This chapter took so long because I was commissioning a friend for art of a scene of it, but she's having some personal problems so we determined that the best thing was to publish the chapter and just upload the commission whenever she can finish it! Another reason to follow me on Twitter, haha. 
> 
> That said, enjoy the last chapter of sweet like honey ;)
> 
> My Twitter: [@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart)

Akira wakes up with a feeling of dread consuming his whole body.

He has no doubt they can beat Maruki, like they’ve done with all their enemies before, but it’s what comes afterwards that scares him. 

He’s been up all night thinking about it and, judging by his friends’ faces, a lot of them had the same problem. No matter how many times they’ve done this, facing the ruler of a palace is always nerve-wracking. It only takes one mistake for everything to go to hell.

Maruki’s palace’s distortion is beautiful, and it’s unfair that it could also be the place where they meet their doom. Walking the steps up to the place where they’re going to meet him is a hard task, not only because there’s _a lot_ of steps but also because Akira’s fear makes each one of them feel like an entire mountain.

At one point, Goro pulls him by the sleeve of his Phantom Thief outfit to stop him. The other Thieves stop walking as well, but Ann seems to catch on whatever is going on really fast.

“We’ll go ahead,” she says.

His friends keep walking and despite the fact that he knows they’re probably only a few steps ahead to give them privacy, he can’t help but feel nervous about separating from them at such a crucial moment.

He turns to face the other boy.

“Goro—”

Goro shuts him up by grabbing the collar of his cape and bringing him down for a kiss. It’s short, just a peck, but it’s plagued with the bittersweet taste of what could be their last goodbye.

“What was that for?” Akira asks, a smile working its way across his face.

“Whatever happens up there…” says Goro. “Remember this was _my_ choice. I don’t want you to blame yourself for it.”

“Okay,” he replies. “I’ll try.”

Those are empty words, they both know it. Akira has a way of carrying the weight of everything related to the Phantom Thieves, and this isn’t an exception. If something happens to Goro —and, by the looks of it, something _will_ happen—, he will never be able to forgive himself.

But, for the sake of easing Goro’s mind, he’ll try.

He squeezes his hand. “We should meet up with the others.”

They walk up the never-ending stairs, hands intertwined all the way up, until they reach their other friends. 

Maruki’s villain speech isn’t so villainous, it’s so different from any other ones they’ve heard during their time as the Phantom Thieves, that Akira finds himself faltering again. There are no bad intentions in his actions, he’s just a man trying to do what he thinks is the best. One last squeeze from Goro before he lets go of his hand tells him that they’re doing the right thing.

That, no matter how good Maruki’s intentions are, they can’t let this go on.

It’s the toughest fight they’ve ever faced. He doesn’t know how the doctor has managed to get stronger than _a literal God_ but he sure as hell is tired from the damned tentacles regenerating every time they attack.

The fact that he knows all of them personally also makes it hard.

He keeps talking to them and attacking their personal weaknesses. To Ryuji, he talks about the track team. To Ann, about Shiho. To Haru and Makoto, about their fathers. To Sumire, about her sister… 

All of those are low blows, words thought to hurt, but none of them feels lower than Maruki reminding Goro —and, by extension, Akira— that his life is quite literally on the line here.

His words don’t have the desired effect, though. Instead of changing their minds, they only make them _angrier_.

Maruki’s battle is one of patience, of waiting for the right moment to strike and remembering the weaknesses of the tentacles that _won’t stop regenerating_ , but in the end they manage to defeat him.

They’ve won. Or, at least, it looks like it, because that’s when Maruki’s second persona awakening happens. He’s seen it happen multiple times to his friends, and to himself when they fought Yaldabaoth and he awakened Satanael, but Maruki’s looks _painful_. 

They’re tired, and beaten, and their stamina levels are hitting rock bottom, but still, they don’t give up.

Fortunately, Maruki’s invincible form turns out to be not so invincible, thanks to Futaba who never fails to find their enemy’s weakness.

He’s ashamed to admit that he didn’t see his friends’ plan coming—couldn’t predict that they’d be the ones being self-sacrificial this time, instead of him. But he did feel Goro’s stare on him a few seconds before it happened. He saw the conviction in his eyes, the _readiness_ to do the right thing this time.

Then his friends stop Adam Kadmon’s fist and he knows it’s his turn to act.

“Checkmate,” he says, right before firing a bullet straight through the persona’s head. In truth, he doesn’t know when he became this cocky—this confident. He definitely wasn’t like this before coming to Tokyo, but he likes the change. It comes naturally to him.

The Metaverse starts crumbling down and they have no way of escaping. They’ve had close calls with palaces before, the one in Shido’s being the most recent one, but this time they really have no escape route.

That’s when Mona somehow transforms into a helicopter. How he did it, he won’t even question it at this point. The important thing is that they now have a way of getting out of the Metaverse, even if it _is_ a tight fit.

It’s clear they won’t all fit inside, so he decides to hang from his grappling hook instead. He hears his friends gasp in surprise, and he sends them a cocky grin. Even from down there, he can see Goro smiling exasperatedly at him, probably done with his antics.

Everything is fine—until it isn’t, as always.

If you had told the Akira from a year ago that he’d be fist-fighting his high school therapist, well, he doesn’t know what he’d have thought but he definitely wouldn’t have believed it. Knocking some sense into Maruki’s head is even harder than knocking it into Goro’s, surprisingly.

With the Metaverse collapsing around them, Akira takes Maruki’s hand and refuses to let him go. He _will_ make him see that reality is worth living, with pain and all. He won’t let him die. He can’t do anything for Goro, but he won’t let this man give his life up.

The last thing he sees before everything goes dark is the lights of Mona’s helicopter as his friends come to his saving.

He wakes up in the Velvet Room, like countless times before. This time is different, though, because he isn’t wearing his prisoner clothes _or_ his Metaverse outfit. He’s in his regular Shujin Academy uniform. It’s easy to figure out that it means that they’ve succeeded and the Metaverse is no more.

His talk with Igor and Lavenza is their own weird farewell. He hasn’t known both of them for long (he spent most of his time with Yaldabaoth pretending to be Igor and the twins Caroline and Justine) but a part of him is still sad to think they may never see each other again. They’ve grown on him.

He tries not to think about what they’ve told him. Because he knows that, with reality going back to normal, it means he turned himself in, no Goro to save him, and he’s leaving the prison in his mind to wake up in a real one.

He especially tries to not think about Goro. He’s not ready to assimilate that yet. He’ll have plenty of time to think about it in Juvie, anyway. Not like there’s much to do in there.

The Velvet Room fades around him and he does, in fact, wake up in Juvie. It’s hard, because everyone around him seems to think he’s been in there for _months_ (because that’s how it should’ve been. He should have never had that precious time with his friends, he was meant to be _there_ ) whereas he can’t remember any of the names of the people around him.

Luckily for him, it doesn’t look like he made a lot of friends anyway. He simply doesn’t _fit_ in Juvie, as much as he likes to call himself a thief. Sure, it’s easy to put on one of his multiple masks and call it a day, but it doesn’t mean he enjoys it.

So, no friends means a lot of time to himself. Which means, a lot of time to think about everything.

A lot of time to think about Goro.

He has no real way to know if he’s actually dead. Not until Sae visits him one day (something she’s apparently been doing ever since he got locked in Juvie. Akira appreciates the gesture) and he asks about him.

“No one’s heard of him in months,” she says. “I was under the impression that you and your friends knew what had happened to him.”

He doesn’t bother to explain that yes, they knew what had happened to him in Shido’s palace. He had died. But that was before a crazy high school therapist had decided to fuck with reality and subsequently with his mind and made them all think he was alive.

His friends visit him, too, from time to time. They all claim to be busy with something, and Akira isn’t even bothered by it. There must be a lot of things to do out there. In jail, though? Just him and his self-destructive thoughts.

He promised Goro he’d try to not place the guilt of his death on himself. Emphasis on _trying._ He hasn’t succeeded so far. He tries and tries but he can’t stop thinking about what-ifs and hows and that maybe he should have accepted Maruki’s offer. Everyone was happy in his reality, fake or not.

These thoughts aren’t his, not really. He knows he did the right thing by destroying the fake reality. But these ideas, these regrets, still worm their way into his brain and refuse to leave him alone.

His friends come to rescue again, this time to save Akira from himself. Apparently, when they told him they were busy with things they meant busy finding the woman whom Shido had assaulted over a year ago in order to clear Akira’s name.

When Sae comes and tells him this, he almost can’t believe it. He’s lucky, he thinks. He had technically been in jail since December but it has barely felt like a few weeks to him. 

Thanks to his friends he gets to spend his last few days in Tokyo surrounded by the people he loves. His dark thoughts have been tossed aside, replaced by the warmth of all his loved ones. 

Tokyo started feeling like a prison. It now feels like home.

Those few days are almost unrealistic to Akira, he’s so busy spending time with everyone he’s met during his time in the big city he barely has time to breathe, least of all to sit and wallow in his self-deprecating thoughts.

But, like all good things, it has to end.

He tries to hide from everyone that he isn’t really excited to go back to his hometown. He doesn’t fit there, the same way he didn't fit in Juvie. He doesn’t want to go back to the place where everyone turned on him the moment things got complicated. His parents, the people he called friends, his teachers. Everyone.

The fact that his perfect reality had been here, with his friends, should be pretty telling.

Here, in Tokyo, he’s got a real family. Because that’s what it is to him, more than his parents back in his hometown will ever be. Not when they haven’t even bothered contacting him in all the time he’s been away from home.

He doesn’t want to burden anyone with his problems, though, so he doesn’t say anything and instead pretends to share his friends’ excitement as they plan their road trip back to his home. At least he’ll get one last good experience with his true friends.

Except he doesn’t. Akira is really starting to think the world truly is against him, because every time he thinks he has something good it gets stripped away from him.

“You’re being watched,” tells him Sae one of the evenings she visits LeBlanc. “I don’t know how, but someone from the government got your name and they’re following you and your friends around. It will probably blow out with time, but it would be bad if they were able to trace you back to your hometown.”

So, no road trip for him.

Instead, his friends act as a decoy as he gets in a train that will bring him back straight to his own personal hell. Because he’s not naive, if it was bad before it’s going to be horrible from now on. He’s not even there yet and he’s already looking forward to coming back to Tokyo.

Sitting on the train, while he waits for it to start, for a moment he almost thinks he’s seen Goro. That’s impossible, though, because if he were alive he’d know already. His mind is starting to play tricks on him.

He closes his eyes and prays that the year will pass by fast.

Going back home is every bit of a nightmare he thought it’d be. His parents are stricter than ever, never talk to him unless it’s for school stuff, and they almost didn’t let him keep Morgana. That had been a big fight that he had fortunately won. 

As for his school life, if he thought Shujin was bad, well, his old high school is worse. He lives in a small town, where rumours and gossip are basically the only entertainment there is, so he shouldn’t be surprised. But the way his classmates and people who he had called friends give him the cold shoulder and speak ill of him still hurts.

His teachers also try to undermine him, of course, but he gives them no reason to think of him as anything but an exemplary student. After all, his grades are literally his ticket out of this town and back to Tokyo. If he can get into one of the universities there, he won’t have to think about these people ever again.

Thus he throws all his time into studying. While he’s studying not only is his mind too occupied to revel in bad thoughts, but he also doesn’t get shit from his parents. It’s a win-win situation. 

He had been top of the year at Shujin, and getting top scores in his old school proves to be even less of a challenge. This doesn’t make his classmates be any friendlier towards him, but it does make his teachers lay off him. 

At night, though, he has nothing to keep his mind busy, which means it’s when his regrets come to haunt him again. It’s been months since everything happened, and his guilt hasn’t eased at all. Maybe it should have, but the fact that he’s now surrounded by people who despise him hasn’t helped the situation.

He thinks Goro Akechi’s ghost may haunt him for the rest of his life.

When he tries to get his parents’ permission to leave for Tokyo during breaks, he is met with a negative reaction.

“We don’t have the money to pay for a train for you to go to the city every time you feel like it,” says his mother. 

He tries to get a part-time job, but even that is a bust, as his reputation as a criminal throughout town makes every possible employer turn away from him when he asks about any part-time positions.

He pushes through the year, ignores his parents’ yells and his classmates’ hostile stares the best he can, and soon enough he gets accepted into a Tokyo university. That day, he and the rest of the Thieves have a video call party to celebrate that he will be returning to them soon, and it’s probably the happiest he’s been ever since he boarded that train at the station almost a year ago.

Soon enough school ends and he only has to deal with his parents. The good thing is they’re as happy to see him gone again as he is about leaving, so they’ve come to a sort of arrangement in which they interact the least possible.

Finally, the day arrives.

There’s no one to bid him farewell on the station, no one to tell him they’ll miss him, and it’s such a different feeling from the last time he boarded a train. He tunes all of those thoughts out and focuses on the bubbly feeling of happiness that’s building up in his stomach at the thought of seeing everyone again.

The train ride feels impossibly long. He chats with everyone on the phone, asking when they’ll be able to meet up, a smile never leaving his face. He also talks with Sojiro, who has already agreed to take him into his care and giving him the LeBlanc attic again in exchange for some work as barista that he would have done anyway, if he’s gonna be waiting for him at the station with his car or if he should take the subway.

Sojiro, who has by now dropped his cold stoic act and acts like the reluctant dad he is, tells him that he doesn’t have to worry about taking the subway with all his luggage.

Once the train arrives at the station, he jumps out of it so fast he almost faceplants on the floor. He’s finally free again, and he takes in his surroundings. For the first time in months, he’s met with the busy sounds of the city instead of the eerie silence of his hometown. He hadn’t even realized how much he had learnt to hate that silence.

He expects to see Sojiro, and maybe Futaba, waiting for him outside the station—what he does not expect, is to see all the Phantom Thieves there with a “Welcome Home” banner on their hands.

“Welcome home, Akira!” they exclaim when they see him.

Morgana jumps out of his bag first, while he’s too busy being frozen in place, and jumps in Haru’s arms.

Honestly, he shouldn’t have expected less from his family.

A wide smile works its way across his face as he steps to hug all his friends. He feels like he could cry, but that’d be too embarrassing. There are definitely tears, though, even if they aren’t his.

They take the same van that was supposed to be for their road trip back to LeBlanc. The tiny space is filled with laughter and animated chatter the whole way. Akira thinks he hasn’t talked this much in months, and it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s usually a quiet person.

Entering LeBlanc again feels like sealing the deal—he’s really home and he’s not going anywhere. The smell of coffee he had missed so much fills his nostrils as he inhales. Sojiro is at the counter, preparing what looks like his favourite brew of coffee.

“Welcome back, kid,” he tells him. “Good to have my favourite barista back.”

Akira knows that’s his way of telling him he missed him, which warms his heart.

His friends stay until the wee hours of the night, so late in fact that most of them don’t have trains to get back to their houses. Fortunately for them, Sojiro is benevolent enough to let them sleepover. That’s how he and most of the thieves end up on the attic (that is apparently in the same state as he left it, like Sojiro was waiting for him to return) having an impromptu sleepover. 

It makes the hell year he just went through more than worth it.

They spend their break preparing for university, with the help of Haru and Makoto, who’ve already finished their first year. Akira never thought he’d be excited about university—studying was never something he enjoyed a lot, albeit he did it because he acknowledges its importance, but the prospect of university is a lot more exciting than high school. 

In between hanging out with his friends, meeting with his old confidants and preparing for the school year, he also helps Boss out with the café as he had promised. 

Break goes by in bliss, and the school year quickly starts up again.

He shares university with both Ryuji and Ann, quite ironic if you take into account that they were the original trio, and they’ve already agreed to have lunch and spend some of their breaks between lectures together.

It’s good to know he isn’t going to be alone (he isn’t taking Morgana with him, at least not for now. He’s started spending a lot of time with Futaba lately), even though he’s aware that he probably won’t have any trouble making new acquaintances or friendships. This isn’t his hometown, he reminds himself.

His classes are fun, he genuinely enjoys them which is more than he could say of any of his high school classes (it probably has to do with the fact that his classmates no longer hate him). He gets to spend time with everyone, including his new university friends, and stay up until an ungodly hour in the morning working on assignments he’s been procrastinating.

Definitely the true university experience.

It’s a normal day when it happens. He’s running on two hours of sleep and coffee because he had once again forgotten there was an assignment due to that day, so needless to say he isn’t too aware of his surroundings. He’s also, in fact, going to be late for his next lecture.

He bumps into someone, in an encounter that could very well be taken out of one of the shojo mangas Ryuji secretly enjoys.

He’s about to apologize to the person he bumped into, but when he looks up to the person’s face he freezes on the spot.

“Goro?” he asks, because there’s _no way_ it’s Goro Akechi standing in front of him right now.

But it is. He’s taller than last time he saw him, and he has his hair in a low ponytail now, but it’s most definitely him.

For a second he feels ecstatic, but it’s quickly replaced with anger. Because this boy just let him believe he was dead for _over a year_. He didn’t text him, didn’t call him, didn’t think of giving any sign of being alive. 

“...Akira,” he replies. Goro averts his gaze, not even looking him in the eye.

He raises an eyebrow. “You’re alive,” says Akira.

“Clearly,” he answers.

It’s an awkward exchange, more so than any they’ve ever had in the past. Somehow they had never had trouble speaking, their conversations always flowing naturally. But that was before Goro went MIA for a year, before Akira had to spend said year wallowing in his guilt.

Yeah, he’s definitely mad at him.

“And you didn’t think of, I don’t know, sending a message or something? Maybe not letting me —us— think you were dead?”

Akechi at least has the decency to look a little regretful at Akira’s words. “I thought it’d be for the best.”

And boy, does this make Akira madder. “So you’re telling me that, if I hadn’t bumped into you here, I’d have never known you were alive?”

Akechi looks like he’s gonna answer Akira’s question, but he doesn’t let him. “Don’t answer that,” he says, putting his hand up signing him to stop. “I have a lecture to get to.”

Then he walks away, leaving one Goro Akechi standing awkwardly in the middle of the hallway. It was either leaving or causing a scene in public, and it’s not like he’s in the mood to talk to him anyway. Not right now.

He barely manages to concentrate in his lecture, so he instead messages Ann and Ryuji to ask them to meet later for lunch. He half expects to get a message from Akechi, maybe an apology, but of course that’d be too good to be true.

Forty-five minutes later he’s sitting at a Big Bang Burger with Ryuji and Ann.

“He’s alive?!” she exclaims, clearly surprised. Akira nods while he takes a bite out of his burger.

“What a dick,” says Ryuji. He’s never liked Akechi, but this time the insult is definitely well-deserved. 

“What are you gonna do?” asks Ann, who as always is able to read him when Akechi is involved in the matter.

“...I don’t know,” he admits. 

Because, really, what’s he supposed to do in this situation? He spent so long missing this boy, mourning him, only to find out he was alive the whole time. The fact that he hadn’t tried to contact him should send a clear message, should be enough to tell him that he does _not_ want to talk to him, but nothing is simple when it comes to Akechi.

“I say he can go to hell,” says Ryuji. Ann smacks him. “No, really. Dude thinks he can just leave you to rot for a whole year and then show back up in your life like nothing happened? Hell, no.”

Ryuji’s words hit him hard, especially because Akechi hadn’t even _intended_ to show back up. It had all been a coincidence. Whether it was a good or bad coincidence is still to be decided.

“For once, I agree with Ryuji,” she says. Ryuji grins. “Don’t even think of chasing after him. At least wait until you cool down, or until _he_ reaches out to you. It can’t always be you reaching out, communication should work both ways.”

He wonders when Ann got this mature, but he carefully thinks about her words. She’s right, he was always the one doing the communication between them. She’s also right about the chasing after him thing—he was definitely thinking about doing that, as much as it embarrasses him to admit it.

“You’re right,” he says. And that’s how the conversation ends. 

Ann ends up mentioning the Akechi situation through their Phantom Thieves group chat, which sets it aflame. The messages are a mix of confusion and curses directed at Akechi, which is exactly what he expected.

He spends their days like nothing happened, working at LeBlanc and going to his lectures. The only difference is the feeling of anticipation at the bottom of his stomach, expecting to get a message from Akechi at any moment.

It’s all foolish hope, though. He hadn’t contacted him in a year, why would he do it now?

He gets proven wrong one rainy evening at LeBlanc. Sojiro has left him in charge, considering rainy days like that are usually slow. Since the café is empty at the moment, he focuses on cleaning the venue and tidying things up. 

That’s when one soaked Akechi walks through the door.

He drops the mop he’s holding.

“Good evening,” says Akechi.

Akira can see he’s trembling from the cold, and he’s getting water everywhere, so he says, “Don’t move, I’ll get you a towel.”

Five minutes later Akechi is sitting at the counter wrapped up in a towel, his wet shoes forgotten at the door, while Akira makes him a warm cup of coffee. 

Akechi takes a sip. “...You still remember how I take it,” he says. Akira doesn’t even dignify that with a response.

“What are you here for?” he asks, dryly.

It takes a few seconds for Akechi to reply. “I’m here to apologize,” he says, averting his gaze from Akira’s once again.

“Well, go on,” replies Akira. He’d been talking to Ann and the other Thieves about what he should do if this were to happen, and all of them had told him to stand his ground. He isn’t the one in the wrong here. He _deserves_ an apology. All of them do, really, but Akira most of all.

Akechi inhales. It’s clear he isn’t used to apologizing to people. “...I’m sorry,” he says. Akira doesn’t talk, clearly expecting more. “For everything. For not reaching out to you and letting you believe I was dead.”

Akira sighs. “Why did you?” 

It takes a moment for Akechi to answer. He must be choosing his words carefully. “I thought you’d benefit from it. Without me in your life you had one burden less to worry about.”

He thought he had subdued his anger in the days he waited for Akechi to reach out. It’s back now. “Oh, so now you know what’s best for me, huh?” he says. “I have to respect _your_ wishes to choose _your_ destiny when it’s a life and death situation but you can’t even let me choose what’s best for me.”

Akechi flinches. “It was foolish, to make that choice for you. But I still think you’d be better off without me.”

He breathes in and out, trying to calm down. Anger will not help the situation. “I don’t think that’s true. And, even if it were, I thought I had already established I wanted you in my life—still do. It’s _my_ choice. So, unless you tell me right here and now that it’s _you_ who doesn’t want to see _me_ then I’d like to rekindle our… friendship.”

Friendship isn't exactly what they had back then, not by far, but he isn’t ready to jump back into whatever that was. He’s still way too hurt.

“...I do want to see you,” Akechi replies.

This answer surprises Akira. He had expected a half-hearted lie about how he didn’t want to have anything to do with him. Another attempt to push him back. He’s glad it isn’t the case.

“Then let’s set some ground rules,” he says. Akechi blinks. He mustn't have been expecting Akira to stand his ground so much. He always did think he was a little bit spineless. “First off, if we want this”—he gestures between them—“to work, there’s gotta be communication. No more lies, no more bottling things up. You can’t keep making choices for me.”

Akechi nods. “Seems reasonable.”

“And second, I want you to apologize to the other Thieves. I may have been the most hurt by your actions, but I wasn’t the only one affected,” he says.

“What?!” he says, and Akira had forgotten how funny Akechi looks when he flies off the handle. “Preposterous! I can’t do that.”

It only takes one raised eyebrow from Akira to change his mind. “...Alright then.”

Finally, Akira smiles, and he thinks they’ll be okay. He hasn’t forgiven him, not yet, but he knows things will get better.

He gets Akechi to apologize to the others (and no, he absolutely _doesn’t_ have it on tape) and starts hanging out with him like they used to do. He’s gotten rusty at billiards ever since he last played, so he appreciates having someone to practice with again. 

Slowly, but surely, Akechi becomes constant in his life once more.

They talk more than ever, and that’s the thing, they actually _talk_. Not just debate about whatever interesting topic they find, but really talk about themselves and maintain the open communication Akira had demanded.

Apparently, they go to the same university, which makes sense considering they had bumped into each other there. Akechi had moved out of his old apartment—too many memories, he had said, and he has no intention of going back to the celebrity life.

They have their fair share of arguments, too, always about the same thing. Akira can’t seem to put it into Akechi’s head that his life isn’t better without him. If he thought that his own self-destructive tendencies were bad, he clearly hadn’t seen Akechi’s yet.

“Oh my god, you’re impossible,” he says during one of said arguments.

“I'm being rational,” answers Akechi.

“No, you are not,” he argues. “Why are you so dead-set on the idea that my life is better without you in it?”

Akechi breathes in and out. Once, twice. “Because I don't want to hurt you.”

And, really, Akira should have seen something like this coming. He knows Akechi cares about him ( _caring_ is an understatement, probably) and he’s been finding out more and more of his self-destructive tendencies. Pushing himself away is his way of protecting Akira.

“You won’t,” he answers, softly. “Pushing yourself away will hurt me more than anything you can do staying by my side.”

Akira doesn’t know when Akechi became such an important part of his life—if it was before Maruki, during the fact or after. But he is now, and living without Akechi would be far too painful for him.

“You say that now, but I’m cursed,” says Akechi, and Akira swears he hears his voice tremble. “Whenever I care about someone I always end up harming them. First my mother, then you. It’s only a question of time before I hurt you again. Or before you leave. It’s a fact.”

Akira knows there’s not much to say that will make this better. He’s experienced first hand what it is like to have issues that run so deep, recognizes that crippling self-doubt. It’s not something that will go away in a day.

“I’m tougher than I look,” he says. “I outsmarted you once, I can take whatever you throw at me. And, for the record, I’m not leaving. I’ve been told I’m stubborn.”

Akechi snorts, clearly not believing in Akira’s words. It’s okay, though, because he’ll be there to repeat them until he does. He’s gonna stay by Goro Akechi’s side until he stops seeing himself as some kind of curse on other people’s lives. Until he sees that he doesn’t need to push Akira away before he decides to leave by himself.

That’s what friends do, after all. They support each other through thick and thin. 

But, soon enough, he finds himself yearning for more.

It’s one sunny afternoon, while they’re studying for their respective finals on one of the booths at LeBlanc, when he can’t hold back anymore. It’s not even something big that makes him break.

“God, it’s too hot to study,” Akira complains, laying his head against his notes. “We should take a break”

“We _just_ took a break,” retorts Akechi, not lifting his stare from the book he's holding.

“I knooow,” he whines. “But another one wouldn’t hurt.”

Akira is now lazily laying on top of both their notes with his arms spread on the table, looking up at Akechi without lifting his head.

“Stop pouting,” says Akechi, now looking at him. “Well, _darling_ , I’d say you’ve been spending way too much time with Sakamoto if you need to take a break every ten minutes.”

Akira freezes up and suddenly sits back up. “What did you just say?”

“Nothing,” says Akechi, way too quickly, as he tries to bury his head back in his notes.

“No, you did. You just called me darling,” he argues, taking Akechi’s notes and forcing him to look at him.

Akechi is blushing and, _god,_ Akira had forgotten what such a cute sight that made. 

“Well, I— you’re always calling me honey so I thought—” he stutters, not even managing a full sentence.

Akira smiles. “God I love you _so fucking much_ ,” he says, almost not realizing he’s said it out loud.

At that moment, Akechi is rendered speechless. It’s something about the atmosphere—the messy table full of their notes, Akechi’s red face from blushing, the smell of fresh coffee and the light of the sun peeking through the windows. It makes Akira’s heart swell, and makes him want to say everything he’s kept bottled up.

Akira takes Goro’s hand, rests it against his cheek and looks at him as his blush deepens.

“...What?” he finally says, after a handful of seconds of just _staring_ at Akira.

“You heard me, loud and clear,” he replies, smugly.

“I thought you wanted to be… friends,” Goro replies hesitantly.

“I did, but I got tired of waiting.” Akira shrugs.

Goro finally seems to recover his composure. “And to think all it took was to give you a ridiculous cutesy name,” he says. Then, his voice softens. “I love you too.”Akira’s heart skips a beat. He _knew_ this already. How could he not, after everything that happened in the fake reality. But hearing makes it more real—it makes him euphoric.

He smiles widely.

“Wipe that smile off your face,” says Goro, but he can see the corners of his mouth threatening to turn into a smile too. It reminds him of that night at the Jazz Club, a night that feels so distant now. They’ve come far.

They don’t say anything after that, there’s no need for it. They keep studying in silence, revelling in each other’s company, knowing that, no matter what, they’ll always have one another. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all again for reading this! For the first time ever I've actually managed to finish a multichapter fic... I hope you all liked it and enjoyed the well-deserved happy ending. If you're interested in my future shuake projects (which, again, are A LOT and include a sequel for this fic), either subscribe to my ao3 user or follow me on Twitter! I have SO many ideas for these two.
> 
> Special thanks to Boo, Rose, Ally, and everyone in the writing server for enduring my whining and yelling at me to write when I was procrastinating.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Once again, here's my Twitter: [@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart)
> 
> Special thanks to my lovely friends and writing buddies Rose ([@plnkstardust](https://twitter.com/plnkstardust)) and Boo ([@pandahuff_ ](https://twitter.com/pandahuff_)) and to my friend and trusted beta Ally ([@kiphors](https://twitter.com/kiphors)) for beta reading this.


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